Passage To India - Mumbai and The Wedding



Gateway of India - Mumbai


    Our first day in Mumbai we hired a car and driver to take us on a tour of Colaba, the part of Mumbai where we were staying. Mumbai, with a population of 16 million, is the largest city in India (and on track to pass Mexico City as the largest city in the world). Our tour took us past the government center with it's beautiful examples of imperial architecture, built by the British when they took control in the 1800's. We also visited a temple, a city park, the city laundry and drove along the waterfront on Marine Drive, a big commercial and entertainment district.

    One of the stops on the tour was the Ghandi house. This was the home where Ghandi lived while he was in Mumbai although it was actually owned by a close friend. It is now a museum dedicated to Ghandi. One of the unique features is a series of dioramas depicting key moments in Ghandi's life.




    On our second, and last, day in Mumbai we went to the Prince of Wales museum which was a short walk from our hotel but required crossing a congested traffic circle. The official name of the museum is Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj Vastu Sangrahalaya. I also saw it referred to simply as The Museum.



Excerpt from Prince of Wales Museum brochure



    Since the weather in Mumbai was very hot (90's) and very humid I had an idea that a museum would be climate controlled. It was not the case. They did have the windows open and fans running but since we had to check out of our hotel that morning we really didn't have anywhere else to stay for the day. I thought it was an excellent museum and we learned a lot about India. All the signs were in English as well as the native language (either Hindi or Maharati, don't know which) and we had an English audio tour headset.

    After observing traffic the day before I was seriously thinking of taking a taxi but we decided to take our life in our hands and go for it.





Actually I figured if the dog could make it, so could I. So I positioned myself on the downside of the traffic next to a group of local-looking people and safely crossed with them. Watching traffic in India became a favorite pasttime of ours. I admire any young person who can learn to drive there; I would find it way too intimidating.

   The collection at the museum was very extensive. It included Indian miniature paintings, Indian arts and crafts, temple sculptures, natural history and a large collection of European and Oriental art. The building itself was a work of art. The miniature paintings were quite interesting as they depicted Indian history as well as every day life of royalty and commoner alike. We were to see miniature paintings in all the museums we visited and for sale in the shops and even brought a couple of them home with us.

   After the museum we walked along the Colaba Causeway looking in the shops and fending off the street vendors. Eventually we saw the Leopold Cafe and took a seat with the thought of getting something to drink and rest our feet until it was time to head to the train station. The tandori chicken smelled so good I decided to give it a try and Mike ordered garlic bread. It turned out to be the best restaurant meal we had in India.

   We left home on a Monday and now it is Friday, Nov. 19. We take a wild taxi ride to the train station as our first taxi did not show up so we were running late. We were leaving from the Victoria Terminus, a beautiful and historic train station. We deliberatly skipped seeing it on our tour as we thought we would be going through it when we went to our train. Instead the driver took us directly to the track and we boarded the train without ever going inside the station. We got on the train with a few minutes to spare and settled into the first class cabin which consisted of two bench seats, four people and two overhead pull down bunks. It took almost an hour to go through Mumbai and then the train stopped so the porters could make up the beds. The other two occupants were on an overnight journey so they both went to sleep and my husband and I read until we got to Nasik around 10 PM.

Lobby of the Gateway Hotel, Nasik

    In Nasik we stayed at the Gateway Hotel which is part of the luxury Taj Hotel group. The Taj chain is owned by the Tata family, the wealthiest family in India and one of the richest in the world. You see the Tata name all over India. The Tata's businesses also include oil, electricity, automobile, retail stores and I'm sure much more. One member of the family built a 19-story private home in Mumbai (unfortunately it was not near where we were staying as I would like to have seen it).

    On Saturday morning Victor, our personal driver for our stay in Nasik, picked us up at the hotel and took us to the Patil home where the wedding festivities were already underway. They had erected big tents in the yard and decorated the exterior of the home. Many of the relatives had already arrived for the wedding. Unfortunately only a few of them could speak English which made me really sorry I had given up studying Hindi. (Even if I could not have learned it well enough to carry on a conversation it would have been helpful to know some words.)

   As there were only a few wedding-related actitivies on Saturday Nilesh's brother, Uday, went with us to show us Nasik. We stopped at the school that both he and Nilesh attended and walked through the street market.

The market area covers many blocks and is teeming with shops, street vendors, traffic, animals and pedestrians. At one point someone tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around to find a man with a camel offering to take me for a ride. I was also intrigued by the men sitting at their sewing machines. You could walk up and hand them a garment to mend or alter and they would do it on the spot.

Here's a video of Uday walking us through the street market.

    The other tourist-type thing we did in Nasik was to visit Sula Winery. This region of India is known for growing grapes and has become the center of India's burgeoning wine industry. There are over thirty vineyards in the region. I had never toured a winery before but we had been to Kentucky's bourbon distilleries. I guess it's no surprise that the process is fairly similar as they both make alcohol. The winery had a nice tasting room and a bar and terrace overlooking the vineyard. In the distance was a lake and hills. It could easily have been in California.

    Back at Nilesh's home we sat with the family and enjoyed watching them go about their tasks and interact with each other. The women were busy cooking and serving all the visitors. Some of the cooking was done outdoors over a fire. They use propane in the kitchen. Here they are making bread. One of the stories we heard is that every time a household makes bread the head of the household takes the first piece and feeds it to one of the cows roaming the streets. The second piece is fed to one of the dogs roaming the streets. The cows are considered sacred and are free to roam where ever they wish. There are many dogs wandering around as well although we rarely saw any cats. Many households, including the Patils, have a walled yard and have a dog to protect them from wandering opportunists especially since they store many things outside like furniture and dishes.

    Nilesh's family are vegetarian so the food consisted of different curries with rice and bread. I have grown especially fond of lentils with rice (they call it daal). We had it just about everywhere we ate Indian food although in different variations. I liked Nilesh's Mother's daal the best.

    Like most Indian homes, there is an indoor bathroom but its just for the toilet and bathing. There is no running hot water (just cold). The sink is in the hallway. Washing dishes and clothes is done outside. Indian-style toilets are a marble trough in the floor so they do not sit. They wash themseleves with a hose and bucket (they think it is unclean to touch yourself and they are probably right). They also wash the bathroom floor so they wear special sandals when using the bathroom. We stayed in western-style hotels that had familiar bathrooms and there was usually access to a western-style bathroom (for instance, the Patil's next-door neighbor had one). The longest we had to hold it was at the wedding hall although our driver would have taken us somewhere if we needed it. So I never attempted to use an Indian-style toilet.

    Another thing we found interesting was the door-to-door vendors. As we were siting in the yard visiting with Nilesh and his family we kept hearing people singing. Finally I realized that it was people pushing carts calling out to the houses as he went. They were selling food, dishes, collecting junk and even collecting the garbage. The most unusual was a man who was administering vaccinations to the kids. Uday's daughter received a free polio vaccination.

    Nilesh has a lot of young relatives and as the weekend went on more showed up. Even though we couldn't converse we connected non-verbally. The kids especially liked us taking their picture so they could see themsleves on the digital camera screen.

    The first wedding activity in which I took part happened on Saturday evening. A young woman came to the house to paint henna tattoos on the wedding participants and anyone else who wanted one.

Since you have to let the henna dry overnight everyone changed into their sleeping clothes before they got their tattoo. I couldn't do that, having to return to the hotel, so I only had her paint a tattoo on my left arm and hand. In the morning you wash the excess paint off and there is the tattoo. It started fading after about a week and was gone by the time I got home.

     On Sunday the pace of wedding activities picked up. In the morning the men collected branches and the women anointed them with spices. The branches were hung on the house and on the gates of family and respected friends as an invitiation to the wedding. They also sent out a paper invitation:

    After that members of the family, led by Nilesh's uncle (but not Nilesh), made their way to the local temple. Every Hindu household has statues of their patron Gods in their home. Whenever they enter or leave the house, they greet the Gods. They always consult the Gods before any major event. The procession took the Gods to the temple so the Gods could be married, thus giving their blessing to the upcoming nuptials. The second purpose of the procession was to alert everyone in the neighborhood that a wedding was taking place. For that affect two vigourous drummers led the procession.

    That afternoon the rain started. A big ceremony was planned that evening at the house but because of the rain it was moved to a building just down the street. The storm knocked out power to the neighborhood so they had to scramble to find a generator. The ceremony was interrupted a few times by the lights going out. Here are photos from the ceremony:

    After Nilesh's ceremony, we ate a buffet dinner and then a few of us went over to the hall where Shweta's ceremony took place. Shweta's family had planned to have dancing but it was cancelled due to the power outage.

    Monday was the wedding day and fortunately no rain. They rented a big hall that could seat all of the 800 some guests who were expected to attend. We arrived at 9 AM for breakfast with the bride's family. The wedding was supposed to start at 12:21 (a propitious time for Nilesh and Shweta) but as we were told, everything in India runs on "Indian Standard Time" which usually means late (but can also mean early as we found out later). The ceremony did not actually start until 1:30. While we were waiting we met a gentleman (in the black vest) and his brother. The man runs a school near Delhi and had been a teacher to the bride's father and was an honored guest. He showed us a photo album of when Indira Ghandi had visited his school. The current president of India, Pratibha Devisingh Patil, is from the village where his school is located and has also visited the school. Mike gave him American money as a souvenir and he, in return, gave Mike some rupees.







Mike in turban, self portrait.



    At the entrance to the wedding there was a color guard carrying banners and large curved horns. Every now and then they would blow the horns and we would think the bride and groom were coming. We found out later that they blow the horn whenever an important guest enters. The way they know who is important is by the turban they are wearing. Here is the turban they gave Mike. He finally figured out they were blowing the horns for him.

    The bride's family sends a horse to fetch the groom. In this case, the bride's brother brought the horse and then Nilesh got on the horse and came to the wedding hall with his entourage. Shweta and her sister met him at the entrance. (Nilesh's sister is to his left.)

The wedding ceremony was in two parts. (Please note that this is a recap from an outsider who could not understand the language and has no backgound in the religious aspects. Forgive me if I got this wrong.) The first part they were on an elaborately decorated stage and the priest recited chants. They exchanged flowers and anointed each other. The second part of the ceremony took place on an altar. In this part they had a fire cauldron and made a series of offerings to the Gods while the priest chanted. Then they stood and walked around the fire seven times, some with Nilesh in front, some with Shweta in front but with their shawls tied together. At this point they became husband and wife. Here are photos from the two ceremonies:

Between the two ceremonies all the guests got to go next door to the dining hall for lunch. The bride and groom and their families had to stay on the stage and have their photos taken with everyone who wanted a photo. The photo session lasted a couple of hours. Here is our photo with the bride and groom and the bride's Father.

    For the ceremony on the altar the bride and groom must remove their shoes. The bride's family then steals the groom's shoes. Afterwards the groom has to negotiate with the bride's family to get his shoes back. Here he is negotiating with the bride's brother.
  

     Finally, the bride and groom get to sit down to eat. By this time most of the guests had left and only close family and friends remained. We all got to eat again. We were never wanting for food while we were in India!







   We met an English speaking family, the Shelkes, at the wedding who were friends of the Patils, the sons having gone to school together. They invited us to their home after the wedding and Rajesh, their son, stayed with us to give us a ride. On the way to their home Rajesh had to go counterclockwise through a busy traffic circle. Someone trying to go clockwise through the circle clipped his car and broke his tail light. About a dozen people crowded around to see what happened but since the drivers weren't fighting, they left. Another India experience for us.
   The Shelkes live in a modern apartment building which was interesting to see. They served us fruit and nuts some of which are unlike any we have back home. I took this photo at their home:

    Our last day in Nasik, Tuesday, we had to check out of our hotel before heading over to the Patils. On the day after the wedding, the families help the bride and groom get better acquainted with each other by bathing them and playing games. From the Sunday night ceremony when the families rub turmeric on the bride and groom until today, they are not allowed to wash it off and can only leave the house for the wedding ceremony. Now the families wash the turmeric off the couple and then they can bathe properly.

   The last ceremony is in the living room at the alter that was set up on the first day. The priest comes and chants as Nilesh and Shweta make offerings to the Gods. Nilesh and Shweta still had visits to make and temples to go to but basically the wedding was over at this point.

   Here is a final picture of Nilesh with his family at their home (his sister is missing from the photo).